Highly Hilarious
It was Spideog's birthday on Saturday April 2nd. I texted him on Friday night to wish him a happy birthday, but it turned out he was having a rotten time. As usual, he wouldn't elaborate and I didn't bother pushing him because I figure he'd tell me if he wants to. But it seemed clear that the humming and hawing was not lessening on his part, and to be honest, apart from the fact that he is genuinely a nice person, I am not interested. Especially as I can't imagine us in the future.
I was sick over the weekend, and so I was sleeping fitfully in between bouts of fever and elation. At 11pm I received a phone call. It was Apollo. "Where are you?" In bed, sick, at home, having a laugh and playing with my cat. "Oh." He sounds a bit sad and lonely, and I know he's in a pub wondering if I will go for a drink. But almost as quickly, he realises he's at a disadvange, and pulls back. We chat a bit, and I tell him I'm off to Spain in May. It is the excuse he needs to justify seeing me, without worrying about either of our motives. He lets slip "Oh, I'll have to see you before then!" and I can hear him kicking himself. How are you Apollo. "Oh fine...you know." I can hear it, alright. But rather than dwell on it, I decide to quit while I'm ahead. Call me when you want to meet, and have a good night, I tell him. He barely has time to say goodbye before I hang up. Yes, I hang up first, and yes, I told him about Spain deliberately. Why? Because I love this man and I can feel him beating himself up for being weak and calling me, and if I am slightly flippant and say I am going away, he worries less about everything.
Then, at 4.30 am I receive a telephone call, which I stupidly answer.
"Greenglass?"
Yes
"It's Spideog"
Hi. Where are you?
"I'm at a party, on the Northside. Can I stay in your house tonight?"
Eh ok. You know I'm really sick at the minute?
"I don't care. I just want to stay with you."
How're you going to get here?
"Taxi. Can you wait for me on your street corner in 20 minutes?"
I know what you're thinking, but no, it wasn't an April Fool's joke. It was even better. I got into my coat, and wearing my red pyjamas I went outside and waited. A taxi pulled up. "Howiye Red Riding Hood!" shouted the driver delightedly, refering no doubt to my red santa claus pyjamas. And out steps......no, not Spideog. Out steps Duff, who if you recall, has the same name as Spideog, is from the same area, and is the same age, but has never called me outside of our Monday meetings in the MiddleGround. Oh mother of god!
"Bet you didn't expect to see me tonight," he grins cockily. Eh no, no I definitely didn't. "I'm a bit high," he confides to me. "And I thought - who would I like to spend time with you- and I decided to cut all the bullshit and just call you!" Oh, I reply weakly. He tries to kiss me but I don't respond, and I need to get indoors cos I'm freezing and still sick.
Of course I have to tell him - I thought you were a someone else. "How many Duff's do you know?" he asks, amazed. A few, I reply. And I have been kind of seeing one of them, and well, it being his birthday and all, I didn't think it that weird that he would call me from a party and announce that he wanted to come over. Then with shock I thought, oh god, what if he calls too?! I switched off my phone hurridly, just in case. Duff asked me did I want him to leave? No, he was welcome to stay, but I was not sleeping with him or kissing him.
The next minute, he has his clothes off and is cavorting around the room, bollock-naked. I laughed. "Bet you didn't ever imagine I'd be in your room, bollock-naked, doing this!"he announces proudly. I agree. But I'm still not sleeping with him, despite being flattered by the attention. Why not? he wants to know. Because he has a girlfriend who is travelling, and whom they have agreed can do whatever she likes but when she comes home they are going-to-be-together-forever type thing, and I don't see the point of bothering if that's all there is. Because I don't intend to sleep with someone first time they come to my house. Because I don't intend to sleep with someone who the first time is on drugs, and even now I am wary of him. And because I am not comfortable with the idea right now.
In fairness to him, we have a grand auld chat, and when safely ensconsed back in his boxers, we just talk about this that and the other, and have a laugh. He is very funny. But I have to know. "Did you come here because I flattered you and you wanted a shag or because people think I am easy?" I ask, somewhat more subtely than that. He very decently explains to me, and apologises while being honest, that though he was attracted to me before I said he was goodlooking, that he thought naively that I would be dying to get my hands on him also, and that's why he came over. He didn't think I was easy, nor had he heard it from anyone, but he had not considered that I might view things differently (being a woman, he said) and not need desperately to hop his bones. He had the decency to be embarrassed about it. And said if I was up for a one-off before the girlfriend returned to let him know. I declined.
At 7am I announced I needed to sleep, and he hopped up and said "Right, well, thanks - I'm off!" I let him out and at the front door he said:"I'm going to thank you for this on Monday amn't I?" I don't know, I replied. "It's a funny way to cement a friendship,"he grinned, "but we are friends." I laughed and agreed, and then gave hima gentle boot down the steps before returning to bed.
I had to work on Saturday night despite my fever, but I laughed really hard with Fairy about it. Duff sent me a few text messages excusing his behaviour and apologising. I said not to worry, but I wonder about the profusity of messages.
I was sick over the weekend, and so I was sleeping fitfully in between bouts of fever and elation. At 11pm I received a phone call. It was Apollo. "Where are you?" In bed, sick, at home, having a laugh and playing with my cat. "Oh." He sounds a bit sad and lonely, and I know he's in a pub wondering if I will go for a drink. But almost as quickly, he realises he's at a disadvange, and pulls back. We chat a bit, and I tell him I'm off to Spain in May. It is the excuse he needs to justify seeing me, without worrying about either of our motives. He lets slip "Oh, I'll have to see you before then!" and I can hear him kicking himself. How are you Apollo. "Oh fine...you know." I can hear it, alright. But rather than dwell on it, I decide to quit while I'm ahead. Call me when you want to meet, and have a good night, I tell him. He barely has time to say goodbye before I hang up. Yes, I hang up first, and yes, I told him about Spain deliberately. Why? Because I love this man and I can feel him beating himself up for being weak and calling me, and if I am slightly flippant and say I am going away, he worries less about everything.
Then, at 4.30 am I receive a telephone call, which I stupidly answer.
"Greenglass?"
Yes
"It's Spideog"
Hi. Where are you?
"I'm at a party, on the Northside. Can I stay in your house tonight?"
Eh ok. You know I'm really sick at the minute?
"I don't care. I just want to stay with you."
How're you going to get here?
"Taxi. Can you wait for me on your street corner in 20 minutes?"
I know what you're thinking, but no, it wasn't an April Fool's joke. It was even better. I got into my coat, and wearing my red pyjamas I went outside and waited. A taxi pulled up. "Howiye Red Riding Hood!" shouted the driver delightedly, refering no doubt to my red santa claus pyjamas. And out steps......no, not Spideog. Out steps Duff, who if you recall, has the same name as Spideog, is from the same area, and is the same age, but has never called me outside of our Monday meetings in the MiddleGround. Oh mother of god!
"Bet you didn't expect to see me tonight," he grins cockily. Eh no, no I definitely didn't. "I'm a bit high," he confides to me. "And I thought - who would I like to spend time with you- and I decided to cut all the bullshit and just call you!" Oh, I reply weakly. He tries to kiss me but I don't respond, and I need to get indoors cos I'm freezing and still sick.
Of course I have to tell him - I thought you were a someone else. "How many Duff's do you know?" he asks, amazed. A few, I reply. And I have been kind of seeing one of them, and well, it being his birthday and all, I didn't think it that weird that he would call me from a party and announce that he wanted to come over. Then with shock I thought, oh god, what if he calls too?! I switched off my phone hurridly, just in case. Duff asked me did I want him to leave? No, he was welcome to stay, but I was not sleeping with him or kissing him.
The next minute, he has his clothes off and is cavorting around the room, bollock-naked. I laughed. "Bet you didn't ever imagine I'd be in your room, bollock-naked, doing this!"he announces proudly. I agree. But I'm still not sleeping with him, despite being flattered by the attention. Why not? he wants to know. Because he has a girlfriend who is travelling, and whom they have agreed can do whatever she likes but when she comes home they are going-to-be-together-forever type thing, and I don't see the point of bothering if that's all there is. Because I don't intend to sleep with someone first time they come to my house. Because I don't intend to sleep with someone who the first time is on drugs, and even now I am wary of him. And because I am not comfortable with the idea right now.
In fairness to him, we have a grand auld chat, and when safely ensconsed back in his boxers, we just talk about this that and the other, and have a laugh. He is very funny. But I have to know. "Did you come here because I flattered you and you wanted a shag or because people think I am easy?" I ask, somewhat more subtely than that. He very decently explains to me, and apologises while being honest, that though he was attracted to me before I said he was goodlooking, that he thought naively that I would be dying to get my hands on him also, and that's why he came over. He didn't think I was easy, nor had he heard it from anyone, but he had not considered that I might view things differently (being a woman, he said) and not need desperately to hop his bones. He had the decency to be embarrassed about it. And said if I was up for a one-off before the girlfriend returned to let him know. I declined.
At 7am I announced I needed to sleep, and he hopped up and said "Right, well, thanks - I'm off!" I let him out and at the front door he said:"I'm going to thank you for this on Monday amn't I?" I don't know, I replied. "It's a funny way to cement a friendship,"he grinned, "but we are friends." I laughed and agreed, and then gave hima gentle boot down the steps before returning to bed.
I had to work on Saturday night despite my fever, but I laughed really hard with Fairy about it. Duff sent me a few text messages excusing his behaviour and apologising. I said not to worry, but I wonder about the profusity of messages.
posted by Green Glass Beads at 10:30
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