Photo-finish

I have never before met somebody who was not only willing, but able, to sit through a photo session with me. I love taking photos, I love reviewing them, I love showing them and I love talking about them. As we had been out til 5.30 the night before dancing, Milis and I decided to stay in yesterday. This entailed getting a bus out to Siulbaile and visiting some of his friends in order to borrow some smoke for the night. The stories those guys tell are frightening, and highly amusing. They played soccer on the Playstation a while and then we headed back into town and home. I'd bought Milis a brownie that he was inordinately happy with, and which he saved to eat with a glass of milk...

For all Milis's friends' reasons for being paranoid, they are very nice to me. I could feel awkward and out of place, but strangely I feel a bit like I have returned home. I grew up in this environment and society, and modern life had hidden it from me, but working-class City is alive and well, and still difficult enough. I like also seeing the respect everyone has for him, despite or perhaps because he is a bit different from them. He is comfortable enough with himself that he can show these little quirks, and since they are mainly creative, the friends love him for it. I guess these guys are also each others' families to a degree, so they are closer because of this too.

I know myself quite well at this stage. I have yet to figure out all the details of what I'm going to do, but I know for a fact that I am coming back for Milis. I'd be a fool not to. Espcially since he sat through 4 hours of photos with me, and was still interested in the end...

Side-tracked

It's been a while since I've written, partly because everything has been moving quickly and I have been living fast. I have met many people and kissed many boys. I have been working a lot and playing even more.

One of the best things that has come about is the beginning of a new band who play just my music. I call them the Amazing Arses. They played with me in the gig I did in the Sweet Club, and they were great. The second best thing that happened to me also kind of involves the Sweet Club.

On Wednesday last I went to play at an open mic night with a friend of mine. As I was finishing my set with the Amazing Arses, a tall blonde man in a grey hoody caught my eye. He seemed young enough and although dressed similarly to half of this city, he stuck out and there was something I liked about him. He was next up to play. He had the cocky strut of an innercity youth, but seemed kind of shy. Normally his sister played with him, but she wasn't here, he said. He proceeded to play a few quick and witty tunes, and turned out to have a lovely high singing voice despite his bass spoken words. He danced about in his chair as he played, and I turned to Piscin and simply said "He's a big ride. I'd take him home no problem." Piscin agreed, and we sat and listened til he was done.

I don't know how exactly, but I found myself talking to him straight away, and having a laugh. He is fluent in Irish also, and interested in a chat. We head up to the next pub with Stefan and Septic and I am delighted to have a conversation almost exclusively with the new boy, before going outside and having a session by the canal. I have to concentrate hard not to fall in, and the following morning I wake up and my hands are covered in mud.

Then, on Sunday, just before I started playing, who should walk in, only Milis, the new boy. I am so delighted that I point him out to Piscin(later he tells me that he was pleased that he caught me doing this as it made him feel special). It is the bassist's birthday that night too, and we go back to his place for a session. I am tired, and squashed against Milis. I listen to him through his chest hum in bass register along to the songs. He walks me to the canal, and we kiss briefly. I hit him on the chest and out comes "How dare you come along 2 weeks before I go away!". He asks why do I have to go away 2 weeks after we meet. We laugh and he says: "Can I meet you again?" I reply yes. He says "Tomorrow? No that's too soon...Tuesday.." I cut him short and tell him tomorrow is fine. I have seen him every night since.

There is no real need to describe him right now because I feel like there is too much of his identity that is no-one else's business. He has raised himself and the sister since the age of 15. He seems to have taken himself into hand recently and cleaned up his life from what I can only describe as madness. He's still finding his way, and tempted to return, but he's not giving in yet. He is gentle and strong, mad and musical, intelligent and chatty, and probably in need of a good cry, something he has never done. He cares about everything from politics through to music. He makes me feel special.

I haven't decided what to do when I go to Spain. I have hardly been quiet lately, and I owe this man nothing. We agree on this. I will decide closer to the time if I need commitment or freedom.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, we'd a mad unionist crowd in the pub on Saturday. I have never met such a shower of racist ignorant sectarian macho shites. I can't believe they were booked into a pub in the republic. They chanted sectarian rubbish and just abused the country the entire time. I spat and cursed the lot of them.