Pride and Escape
Well I outdid myself last night. And I am paying for it today cos I am exhausted, and nearly cranky, but not quite.
I went to Earnest's house and we spent an hour going through the songs (once each) for tonight's gig, and then we wrote more of that electronica we are doing. By god it's brilliant. I thought when we listened back that I'd be disappointed, but as soon as he clicked play we looked at each other startled, and started headbanging. It's great. Kind of scarey, but great. It's a riff I wrote when I was about 15 and has really hard beats and drive charges right through (which we have to play around with and edit out in places). But we played a piano duet over the entire track that is plain creepy, and then we just recorded live over two mics, and it is hilarious and WEIRD.....everything from teasing to screaming....
After I left I discovered that my fairy friend was unable to come out afterall as she had to work. I will be starting work there soon as well in order to try and save some cash to go away. As will my friend Seventeen. The reason this is relevent will become apparent.
So instead I met the Lord in an old man's pub for a beer. It was closing time and I did the gentlemanly thing and got him a pint. We graduated on to the Middle Ground where I spend each and every Monday, and there was a band playing Sting and Van Halen tunes. I was having a ball despite the fact I'd a chronic allergy. Anyway, the long and short of it is, the Lord put his arm around me and I said I was uncomfortable with that. It was the end of the night, and though not mean, I've made it clear for a while that I'm uncomfortable. I told him honestly that I didn't trust him, and it didn't matter who's fault cos that's not how it works. I enjoy his company but I don't want to be beholden, nor him to me. He nodded and agreed he is a bit of a mess. I left him room to make it sound like his idea....pride does not matter where escape is concerned.
Anyway, Seventeen was in the pub too, as were some other people I know. As usual we kind of hung around outside til the Lord had to leave due to "an emergency call from a girlfriend" and I got picked up by a Spaniard. Seventeen extracted me from the Spaniard's grip, because I was chatting to him and walking along and he thought it unsafe, so I stood on the corner with Seventeen and Sue chatting. Or rather they chatted mostly. Sue told me she is over the Crow after having kissed him (which is what happens with Crow). Seventeen told us both he didn't understand why he had never slept with a woman and he is 17 but has had sex with some men, even though he's not into it. We must of looked surprised, because he rolled his eyes embarressedly and said everyone reacted like that. Thing is, it's cos he's very friendly and straight-like, and it just seemed odd. Plus the fact that he is into women. Apparently he just never gets close, as women just want to be friends. I said (here we go) that if I thought it'd help I'd bring him home, but I didn't think it would. Sue roared with laughter and I shrugged ashamedly. I know, he's 17. But I was a smart 17 too. Anyway, he said it might help, but I think we both knew it would be a bad idea. Besides, I suspect I just wanted him to feel wanted a bit, as he seemed to think he is just nice but not sexually attractive to women, but I doubt that very much. Not that I'm usually given to being nice.
On my way (stumbling and singing) home I met some more friends of mine outside of Fairground. One of them fucked me around in the past, and told everyone we'd slept together, which we hadn't in the biblical sense. I share many beds, but rarely bodies. Anyway, after some chips and banter, I went home and got a text message saying it was nice to see me. I had put the fear of god into this guy, and that's why he'd been an asshole, but here he is months later, apologising by text to me. He'd kept my phone number, even though I'd long-deleted his....hmmm. Anyway, after a suspicious start, I was friendly and said I'd see him soon. Life is easy when you forgive. It's easy, provided you don't forget.
Anyway, I think I am going to have to skip my last dress-making class as it coincides with that gig tonight. I will be playing a song I just learned yesterday. I can't wait!
I went to Earnest's house and we spent an hour going through the songs (once each) for tonight's gig, and then we wrote more of that electronica we are doing. By god it's brilliant. I thought when we listened back that I'd be disappointed, but as soon as he clicked play we looked at each other startled, and started headbanging. It's great. Kind of scarey, but great. It's a riff I wrote when I was about 15 and has really hard beats and drive charges right through (which we have to play around with and edit out in places). But we played a piano duet over the entire track that is plain creepy, and then we just recorded live over two mics, and it is hilarious and WEIRD.....everything from teasing to screaming....
After I left I discovered that my fairy friend was unable to come out afterall as she had to work. I will be starting work there soon as well in order to try and save some cash to go away. As will my friend Seventeen. The reason this is relevent will become apparent.
So instead I met the Lord in an old man's pub for a beer. It was closing time and I did the gentlemanly thing and got him a pint. We graduated on to the Middle Ground where I spend each and every Monday, and there was a band playing Sting and Van Halen tunes. I was having a ball despite the fact I'd a chronic allergy. Anyway, the long and short of it is, the Lord put his arm around me and I said I was uncomfortable with that. It was the end of the night, and though not mean, I've made it clear for a while that I'm uncomfortable. I told him honestly that I didn't trust him, and it didn't matter who's fault cos that's not how it works. I enjoy his company but I don't want to be beholden, nor him to me. He nodded and agreed he is a bit of a mess. I left him room to make it sound like his idea....pride does not matter where escape is concerned.
Anyway, Seventeen was in the pub too, as were some other people I know. As usual we kind of hung around outside til the Lord had to leave due to "an emergency call from a girlfriend" and I got picked up by a Spaniard. Seventeen extracted me from the Spaniard's grip, because I was chatting to him and walking along and he thought it unsafe, so I stood on the corner with Seventeen and Sue chatting. Or rather they chatted mostly. Sue told me she is over the Crow after having kissed him (which is what happens with Crow). Seventeen told us both he didn't understand why he had never slept with a woman and he is 17 but has had sex with some men, even though he's not into it. We must of looked surprised, because he rolled his eyes embarressedly and said everyone reacted like that. Thing is, it's cos he's very friendly and straight-like, and it just seemed odd. Plus the fact that he is into women. Apparently he just never gets close, as women just want to be friends. I said (here we go) that if I thought it'd help I'd bring him home, but I didn't think it would. Sue roared with laughter and I shrugged ashamedly. I know, he's 17. But I was a smart 17 too. Anyway, he said it might help, but I think we both knew it would be a bad idea. Besides, I suspect I just wanted him to feel wanted a bit, as he seemed to think he is just nice but not sexually attractive to women, but I doubt that very much. Not that I'm usually given to being nice.
On my way (stumbling and singing) home I met some more friends of mine outside of Fairground. One of them fucked me around in the past, and told everyone we'd slept together, which we hadn't in the biblical sense. I share many beds, but rarely bodies. Anyway, after some chips and banter, I went home and got a text message saying it was nice to see me. I had put the fear of god into this guy, and that's why he'd been an asshole, but here he is months later, apologising by text to me. He'd kept my phone number, even though I'd long-deleted his....hmmm. Anyway, after a suspicious start, I was friendly and said I'd see him soon. Life is easy when you forgive. It's easy, provided you don't forget.
Anyway, I think I am going to have to skip my last dress-making class as it coincides with that gig tonight. I will be playing a song I just learned yesterday. I can't wait!
posted by Green Glass Beads at 17:05
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