Office Epiphany
I hate the post! In order to go to the post office I have to take a lift from one of the guys at work, and it always rains. The post office is tiny and the postmaster is drunk, poor fellow, with his ruddy cheeks, shaky left-handed scrawl and cheery-sad chatter. There is often a junkie dazed and sinking in front of me, and the company cheques are not supposed to be accepted, and are invariably short of the amount I need.
I think perhaps I should be looking for a new job. The upside of this job is the amount of free-time, all be it pure procrastinatory creativeness on my part, and the pleasant people. But the disorder and general handymanness of my job drives me bonkers. I don't need to use my brain as most of my job involves things like filing and checking things. I understand the place of filing but for god's sake, people are so anal about things! It's almost as though they ask you to check something simply so that they can put it off again for a bit. Then there's the phone calls of fake friendliness, and strangers through the door whom I have no interest in making coffee for. I avoid emptying the dishwasher and I dislike writing letters, unless they are legal.
What do I like? I like writing addresses on envelopes, for some reason! I like hanging pictures and taking apart and fixing printers. I like researching music and printers on the net, and ordering stationary and ensuring it's all recycled. I like organising beer and cakes for my colleagues, and anything else that I do is not work-related I'm afraid.
Perhaps I should look for a job as a painter and decorator. I like jobs that are creative or challenging but where you actually see the usefulness of what you do. Let's face it, if people were honest and reliable there would be no need for the mass of paperwork through which I wade daily. Painter and decorator is physically tiring but satisfying. And you don't need qualifications.
Now for my daily rant about crap. Especially since I was at my Monday Night again last night. I have been in good form lately, I suspect possibly even happy, and the best part is I know that I have absolutely nothing special to be happy about, something that has lead me to conclude that I am very fortunate to be in a place where I can exercise this positivity without cause. I take on the appearance of my emotions, so when I am happy I shine. The Crow knows this, and was like a leech last night. I don't think I have ever gotten so many hugs and pats from him in my life. His sister was there, looking like a little Jennifer Lopes. It's gas, cos she's a guard, and she obviously loves to dress up in her time off. She's a lovely looking woman. But I think Crow will be in my life for a while yet, even though it's from a distance. It's just a case of belonging to the family whether you want to or not (whether he wants to or not)...
I just spent the last 20 minutes gabbing to my sister about how dying dogs die sometimes despite help and how you just have to get on with it. We were agreeing and wondering if we are cold-hearted. But due to the elongated rambling, I have little time left before I have to go. I am off to practise with Earnest tonight, followed by an outing with my Fairy friend to an open mic night. Lord of the Dance asked me to dinner (and I kissed the Jewish anti-semite on Saturday) but I declined. I did explain what I was doing and invited him along if he wanted. I don't think he suspects anything (the male ego is a wonderous thing). I will have to explain it to him. It's gas - I met one of our mutual friend's last night, and he asked me how the Lord was. I told him straight how I felt and why, and he was niether surprised nor mocking. In fact, he is a lovely man and said he agreed with my assessment of the Lord as a liability, a child who doesn't know what he wants, but a fecinating guy. You see, I am a feminine female. I do not feel the need to prove my sexuality. I refuse to be a test for someone who is unsure of themselves. Besides, I love being sensual and loving, and in order to be either, I need to really have a fire with someone. I do not have this with the Lord. I will hold hands for comfort, but only for a little while. I will not lie about it.
Anyway, enough drivel. I'm off to catch the DART and listen to Soulwax -
I think perhaps I should be looking for a new job. The upside of this job is the amount of free-time, all be it pure procrastinatory creativeness on my part, and the pleasant people. But the disorder and general handymanness of my job drives me bonkers. I don't need to use my brain as most of my job involves things like filing and checking things. I understand the place of filing but for god's sake, people are so anal about things! It's almost as though they ask you to check something simply so that they can put it off again for a bit. Then there's the phone calls of fake friendliness, and strangers through the door whom I have no interest in making coffee for. I avoid emptying the dishwasher and I dislike writing letters, unless they are legal.
What do I like? I like writing addresses on envelopes, for some reason! I like hanging pictures and taking apart and fixing printers. I like researching music and printers on the net, and ordering stationary and ensuring it's all recycled. I like organising beer and cakes for my colleagues, and anything else that I do is not work-related I'm afraid.
Perhaps I should look for a job as a painter and decorator. I like jobs that are creative or challenging but where you actually see the usefulness of what you do. Let's face it, if people were honest and reliable there would be no need for the mass of paperwork through which I wade daily. Painter and decorator is physically tiring but satisfying. And you don't need qualifications.
Now for my daily rant about crap. Especially since I was at my Monday Night again last night. I have been in good form lately, I suspect possibly even happy, and the best part is I know that I have absolutely nothing special to be happy about, something that has lead me to conclude that I am very fortunate to be in a place where I can exercise this positivity without cause. I take on the appearance of my emotions, so when I am happy I shine. The Crow knows this, and was like a leech last night. I don't think I have ever gotten so many hugs and pats from him in my life. His sister was there, looking like a little Jennifer Lopes. It's gas, cos she's a guard, and she obviously loves to dress up in her time off. She's a lovely looking woman. But I think Crow will be in my life for a while yet, even though it's from a distance. It's just a case of belonging to the family whether you want to or not (whether he wants to or not)...
I just spent the last 20 minutes gabbing to my sister about how dying dogs die sometimes despite help and how you just have to get on with it. We were agreeing and wondering if we are cold-hearted. But due to the elongated rambling, I have little time left before I have to go. I am off to practise with Earnest tonight, followed by an outing with my Fairy friend to an open mic night. Lord of the Dance asked me to dinner (and I kissed the Jewish anti-semite on Saturday) but I declined. I did explain what I was doing and invited him along if he wanted. I don't think he suspects anything (the male ego is a wonderous thing). I will have to explain it to him. It's gas - I met one of our mutual friend's last night, and he asked me how the Lord was. I told him straight how I felt and why, and he was niether surprised nor mocking. In fact, he is a lovely man and said he agreed with my assessment of the Lord as a liability, a child who doesn't know what he wants, but a fecinating guy. You see, I am a feminine female. I do not feel the need to prove my sexuality. I refuse to be a test for someone who is unsure of themselves. Besides, I love being sensual and loving, and in order to be either, I need to really have a fire with someone. I do not have this with the Lord. I will hold hands for comfort, but only for a little while. I will not lie about it.
Anyway, enough drivel. I'm off to catch the DART and listen to Soulwax -
posted by Green Glass Beads at 17:25
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